I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
