Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
