Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
