the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
