yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
