do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
