jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize