The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
