We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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