he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
