Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Small penises have feelings too.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
