you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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