I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I FOUND THE LEGS
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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