His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
