dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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