Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
