Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
