I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
