Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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