I showed him my bush... on skype.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
