I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
