One girl and one boy is just not enough.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
