Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
