just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
