somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
