i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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