She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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