He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
