so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
