My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
