Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
