He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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