I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
