btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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