we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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