I want to have your abortion
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
