the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
