I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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