Kiss
Puke
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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