apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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