i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
