Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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