facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
