at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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