did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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