Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
