No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How naked do you want me to be?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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