No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
