So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Everclear isn't food dammit
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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