bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
