wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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