I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize