Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize