Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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