Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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