your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
