Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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