I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
